Ask Melton

[Hammond Organ]

Dear Melton,

Daddy or Chips?

Ms McCain
TV Hell

 

[Darth Vodka]

Dear Melton,

Daddy or Chips?

Ms McCain
TV Hell

i put my dinner in the oven the other day, left it for 20 minutes, came back, no ****ing dinner, vanished!

last time i have McCann's oven chips

:icon_eek:

 

[Hammond Organ]

i put my dinner in the oven the other day, left it for 20 minutes, came back, no ****ing dinner, vanished!

last time i have McCann's oven chips

:icon_eek:

Wasn't their fault though...

 

[Melton Fox]

Dear Melton,

Daddy or Chips?

Ms McCain
TV Hell

I have no ****ing idea what you are talking about. Go and do a course on basic comprehension and then ask me a question, Dumb Ass.

 

[Billyjof]

Dear Melton,

When are you ever going to contribute your wisdom to the 3 word story thread?

Joff

 

[Melton Fox]

Dear Melton,

When are you ever going to contribute your wisdom to the 3 word story thread?

Joff

Unfortunately it's on my Ignore List.

 

[Macky]

Dear Melton,

When are you ever going to contribute your wisdom to the 3 word story thread?

Joff

That's not still going is it?

 

[Billyjof]

That's not still going is it?

Absolutely

Nothing to do with me tho.

 

[Macky]

Absolutely

Nothing to do with me tho.

How bizarre. Thank God (or Jeff) for the ignore function.

 

[From Gradel to Grave]

How bizarre. Thank God (or Jeff) for the ignore function.

...and so say all of us.

 

[Hammond Organ]

Dear Melton,

In recent months I have been able to see the dead and Bruce Willis has taken to hanging out with me. Obviously this causes me extreme trauma and it is difficult for me to sleep and Bruce refuses to say 'Yippee Kay-Ay Mother ****er' no matter how many times I ask. So obviously my question is do you think he will let me tap his ex-wife and eldest daughter at the same time?

H Joel Osment
Beverly Hills

 

[Melton Fox]

So obviously my question is do you think he will let me tap his ex-wife and eldest daughter at the same time?

Willis is very protective, understandably, and I wouldn't push it too far when asking him.

Personally, I'd either make sure I was the wrong person, in the wrong place at the wrong time, or under the boardwalk.

It's easier to seek forgiveness than permission, and because Willis has experience in these areas, I think he might be more willing to forgive you.

Please bear in mind what happened when he saw Marsellus Wallace getting ****ed by the shop owner and the Gimp.

 

[tedfoxxx]

dear melton,

theres seems to be a trend developing among afew tbers that i find deeply offensive and somewhat intimidating. i wont name names but but these posters like to wait for someone to post and then quote the message, only to twist it into a lewd and sexually orientated message.

is this just some sort of flirting ritual, or something more sinister?

TF

 

[MKFox]

dear melton,

I love it up the gary.
Also where's the best place for some good man on man glory hole action?

TF

:icon_eek:

 

[MKFox]

Dear Melton,
What is the difference between a cormorant and a shag?

 

[bocadillo]

Dear Melton,
What is the difference between a cormorant and a shag?

I know this one. It's something to do with not being able to smoke a cormorant, isn't it?

 

[Hector]

Dear Melton,
What is the difference between a cormorant and a shag?

One is Phalacrocorax carbo and the other is Phalacrocorax arestotelis

 

[Chuck T Masala]

Dear Melton,
What is the difference between a cormorant and a shag?

Is one a carpet and the other a dance?

 

[Lboro fox]

One is Phalacrocorax carbo and the other is Phalacrocorax arestotelis

 

[Willlow]

Dear Melton,

Do you take any pride at being the top poster on this website and having some many tbers hanging off your every word?