Tory Boy comes to our door because he smugly thinks everybody in the village wants to give him a beer or a titwank.
Well, he used to. He's not been this time. He's either taken on board the discussion we had or he was disappointed with my man breasts.
The Labour candidate can't afford the petrol, the Lib Dem can't work a satnav, the Green can't get here because the Tories killed public transport and the UKIP is stuck in a very gay illegal immigrant traffic jam.
Sexy Cecil, our member for Parliament came knocking at the door one year. My brother and I were working on a car in the driveway, Sexy Cecil asked who we were voting for, when the reply was "not you," Sexy Cecil asked who was getting our vote. Sexy Cecil was baffled by the answer but then went on his merry way, only to stop at the end of the drive, he turned round, smiled and said "very good." Sexy Cecil had just seen the name Roger Bradley on the Estate Agents board on the house opposite.
In 1997 I was living in Loughborough and the newly created Charnwood seat meant that there was a change to the boundary, so maybe that's why we had 1 or 2 people round.
In 2001 I was living in central Nottingham, didn't see anybody.
In 2005 I was living in Queniborough, didn't see anybody.
In 2010 I was living in Melton, didn't see anybody.
In 2015 I was living in Melton, didn't see anybody.
So far, with the election 2 days away, I haven't seen anybody yet this year.
I can kind of get why, since I moved back to Melton, I haven't seen our resident Tory MP, as it's not even worth him bothering to put the effort in. He knows he's going to win, so presumably can't see the point in wasting his time. It surprises me, though, that none of the other candidates have ever knocked on the door. I realise that the same assumption could be made, that they know they're not going to win, so why bother, but am I wrong in thinking that at least one of them might have tried?