Premier League 23/24

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pork pie fox said:
Yep. I think I'm right in saying that could have been the difference in Villa staying up or going down, too.
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Let’s remember Villa got through a League Cup semi against us as VAR simply looked at the wrong incident instead of the clear handball. And never had to explain themselves. Can we play that one again. Bring Brendan back to manage.
 
Can’t wait for the first “if spurs win the league it will be an achievement equal to Leicester” article.

And if anyone says I’m being melodramatic let’s not forget it was said about Arsenal last year.
 
Well, it is 60 years since they last won the top division.
As if it’s gonna happen this year
Naaah
 
Yanited start with a back four of Dalot, Maguire, Evans and Lindelof

****ing hell, even I fancy me chances against that shower of shit
 
A maximum of 12 points? Maximum? ****ing hell lads, that's ffp fully gone then....
 
If they do punish Everton with a 3 point deduction suspended or whatever. What league would Man City end up in if we assume it's determined by taking the piss levels? Conference North (suspended obvs)?
 
All this bollocks.

An increasingly large part of me just wants the super league to start ASAP so the PL will be ****ed.

When it's not worth billions anymore it'll probably just die a natural death & the EFL will be the proper league again.

They'll hang on for a few years obviously, trying desperately to convince us that the Mega Monday Showdown between Palace & Sheff Utd is an elite clash of the titans (on Channel 5) But eventually reality will assert itself.

Then we can all watch football for 20 quid & enjoy our old age. While everyone else pays £250 to watch the super league final live from Riyadh.

Global TV audience : 1.2 billion.

Stadium attendance : 12,000. All men. All identically dressed.

Half time entertainment in the ground will be the beheading of 50 female rape victims (for bringing shame upon their families) & the ceremonial garroting of 100 queers with specially made sets of rainbow laces.

Meanwhile the global TV audience won't see that as its half time extravaganza will be 8 consecutive ads for Asian betting conglomerates interspersed with expert analysis from Gary Neville, some woman who once played for England & an AI generated hologram of Jimmy Hill.

All ending with an extended video performance by Rihanna which will essentially be an endless piece of product placement for her new range of tastefully designed crotchless knickers.
( She'll appear in one shot with a football, emblazoned with the super league logo, between her open legs as she mumbles a lyric about milking your balls. Or summat)

In the aftermath, the finalists ( Newcastle & Man City, by some amazing coincidence ) announce the donation of 0.1% of their profits to be shared equally between a rape crisis centre in Newcastle & the organising committee of Manchester Pride Festival.

Both clubs are lauded in the press for being the greatest philanthropists in history, jointly awarded the Nobel peace prize & every member of each squad gets an OBE.

** Both the rape crisis centre & Manchester Pride refuse the donations & denounce the hypocrisy involved. But this is not reported. Anywhere**
 
"Newcastle boss Eddie Howe says there is a "high chance" Sandro Tonali can play against Wolves on Saturday despite receiving a 10-month ban from football."

Ummm... the ****? What is going on there?
 
FOX Franks said:
"Newcastle boss Eddie Howe says there is a "high chance" Sandro Tonali can play against Wolves on Saturday despite receiving a 10-month ban from football."

Ummm... the ****? What is going on there?
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Rules eh?
 
W
FOX Franks said:
"Newcastle boss Eddie Howe says there is a "high chance" Sandro Tonali can play against Wolves on Saturday despite receiving a 10-month ban from football."

Ummm... the ****? What is going on there?
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wait until they get Ruben Neves from the Saudis to replace him
 
It would be funny if Tonali played for them and they were deducted points for using an ineligible player.... Ho ho ho.

Won't happen tho.
 
****ing VAR.

Taking literally 5 mins to give an offside at Bournemouth with fans in the ground having not a ****ing clue what's going on.

Then at Wolves giving a ludicrous penalty to Newcastle that was probably closer to being a yellow for simulation.

Commentary said it was " a difficult one" ! well, if thats true then the error isn't clear & obvious isn't it? So give the original decision.

****ing joke.
 
give_us_a_wave said:
****ing VAR.

Taking literally 5 mins to give an offside at Bournemouth with fans in the ground having not a ****ing clue what's going on.

Then at Wolves giving a ludicrous penalty to Newcastle that was probably closer to being a yellow for simulation.

Commentary said it was " a difficult one" ! well, if thats true then the error isn't clear & obvious isn't it? So give the original decision.

****ing joke.
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It’s embarrassing isn’t it. That Wolves penalty in particular. Rather than correct shitty decisions it feels like VAR is just adding to them.
 
give_us_a_wave said:
All this bollocks.

An increasingly large part of me just wants the super league to start ASAP so the PL will be ****ed.

When it's not worth billions anymore it'll probably just die a natural death & the EFL will be the proper league again.

They'll hang on for a few years obviously, trying desperately to convince us that the Mega Monday Showdown between Palace & Sheff Utd is an elite clash of the titans (on Channel 5) But eventually reality will assert itself.

Then we can all watch football for 20 quid & enjoy our old age. While everyone else pays £250 to watch the super league final live from Riyadh.

Global TV audience : 1.2 billion.

Stadium attendance : 12,000. All men. All identically dressed.

Half time entertainment in the ground will be the beheading of 50 female rape victims (for bringing shame upon their families) & the ceremonial garroting of 100 queers with specially made sets of rainbow laces.

Meanwhile the global TV audience won't see that as its half time extravaganza will be 8 consecutive ads for Asian betting conglomerates interspersed with expert analysis from Gary Neville, some woman who once played for England & an AI generated hologram of Jimmy Hill.

All ending with an extended video performance by Rihanna which will essentially be an endless piece of product placement for her new range of tastefully designed crotchless knickers.
( She'll appear in one shot with a football, emblazoned with the super league logo, between her open legs as she mumbles a lyric about milking your balls. Or summat)

In the aftermath, the finalists ( Newcastle & Man City, by some amazing coincidence ) announce the donation of 0.1% of their profits to be shared equally between a rape crisis centre in Newcastle & the organising committee of Manchester Pride Festival.

Both clubs are lauded in the press for being the greatest philanthropists in history, jointly awarded the Nobel peace prize & every member of each squad gets an OBE.

** Both the rape crisis centre & Manchester Pride refuse the donations & denounce the hypocrisy involved. But this is not reported. Anywhere**
Click to expand...
Jordan Henderson can compère the half time entertainment. He can supplement the bollocks that falls out of his mouth with all kinds of insincere platitudes.
 
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