Random News Article Thread

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Before opening this thread, I sometimes try to guess what the article might be about. I was nowhere near on this one.
I opened the door to the garage and Silas was being bummed by what I can only describe as a sort of glowing, shadowy thing. It was obviously a ghost. The spook looked at me and thats when it hit me it was Michael Jackson and it was making that bizarre woo-hoo noise that Jacko used to make.
 

John Dillermand has an extraordinary penis. So extraordinary, in fact, that it can perform rescue operations, etch murals, hoist a flag and even steal ice-cream from children.
 
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P Pld Pts
1Leicester4494
2Leeds Utd4490
3Ipswich4389
4Southampton4484
5West Brom4472
6Norwich City4472
7Hull City4366
8Coventry City4263
9Middlesbro4463
10Preston 4463
11Cardiff City4462
12Bristol City4459
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14Swansea City4456
15Watford4453
16Millwall4453
17Stoke City4450
18QPR4450
19Blackburn 4449
20Plymouth 4448
21Sheffield W4447
22Birmingham4446
23Huddersfield4444
24Rotherham Utd4424

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