Random News Article Thread

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Before opening this thread, I sometimes try to guess what the article might be about. I was nowhere near on this one.
I opened the door to the garage and Silas was being bummed by what I can only describe as a sort of glowing, shadowy thing. It was obviously a ghost. The spook looked at me and thats when it hit me it was Michael Jackson and it was making that bizarre woo-hoo noise that Jacko used to make.
 

John Dillermand has an extraordinary penis. So extraordinary, in fact, that it can perform rescue operations, etch murals, hoist a flag and even steal ice-cream from children.
 
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P Pld Pts
1Liverpool1639
2Chelsea1735
3Arsenal1733
4Nottm F1731
5Bournemouth1728
6Aston Villa1728
7Manchester C  1727
8Newcastle1726
9Fulham1725
10Brighton1725
11Tottenham 1723
12Brentford1723
13Manchester U1722
14West Ham1720
15Everton1616
16Palace1716
17Leicester1714
18Wolves1712
19Ipswich1712
20Southampton176

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