MEN in shorts should be banned from a picturesque Cheshire market town, says a lawyer.
They are unseemly and ghastly, says criminal solicitor John Milns.
But Mr Milns - who admits to walking round naked at home - is all for women in shorts because they are an `asset to the town in summer.'
He said: "The character and ambience of the lovely old market town is being diminished by men wearing unattractive, dirty, baggy, unseemly shorts, - sometimes even with socks.
"If people have a modicum of decency and common sense, they would realise it is inappropriate in every town.
"As far as ladies go, it's obviously a different matter. They normally have attractive, lovely legs and are an asset to the town in summer. It's always a pleasure to see them wearing dresses and shorts, which are beautifully tailored, clean and elegant."
The summer sun and the sight of `more than a dozen' men in shorts in Knutsford last week prompted the semi-retired solicitor's outburst in a letter to his local paper.
Mr Milns, 64, who works for leading criminal defence lawyers Burton and Copeland, said: "It is another example of the sort of louts and ill-mannered people who are increasingly visiting Knutsford in a minority and causing drunken behaviour, damage and occasionally assaults. People's moral and physical behaviour are linked.
"Shorts are often accompanied by collarless T-shirts or vests, or even no shirt at all. Is this another nail in the coffin of the rapidly downward spiral of our once lovely town?"
Mr Milns defends his own shorts-wearing on holiday and at home on the outskirts of Knutsford, where he has lived for 29 years.
He said: "It's perfectly legitimate to wear shorts on holiday in the south of France where there are other cosmopolitan holidaymakers. Equally in one's own private grounds. I often not only wear shorts but walk around naked at my home, which is completely secluded."
Even in sunny weather, the father-of-two said there should be no reprieve for `inappropriate' clothing.
He said: "Even in boiling hot weather, shorts are unacceptable. People should do their shopping at a different time.
"The length doesn't matter. Three-quarter length shorts are the worst - a typical example of an inappropriate mode of dress. It savagely detracts from my sense of wellbeing when I visit the town and see such ghastly sights. I am dismayed."
A snap M.E.N. survey found that many are proud to bare their legs on the high street.
Tim Waterhouse, a 38-year-old car dealer, said: "I wear my shorts from the beginning of February right through until the third week of October.
"But I suppose it depends on the style. Some people who wear shorts just look like pirates."
Student Ted Cawson, 19, agreed.
He said: "I do get dressed up when I go out at night, but I think shorts are fine when you're just going to the shops, like I am today. I can't really see the problem."
Shorts-wearing pensioner Roger Toulmin, 71, said: "I don't see a problem with men wearing shorts in the summer. They're not something that I wear every day anyway - only when the weather's reasonable."
Jonny Irvine, 37, from balmy Jersey, who was wearing shorts while visiting a friend in Knutsford, said: "Everyone's in shorts today. It's natural.
"Knutsford is a nice place, but I don't know how the fashion shops would go on if they only sold long trousers.
"What would happen next? Would you get arrested if you wore shorts?"
Charles Rogers, 61, from Chelford, said: "Whoever said that about shorts should go to New Zealand.
"I've just been there and you see men going to work in shorts, a shirt and a tie. They look very smart too."
We did not find any knee-happy New Zealanders in Knutsford, but we did find a shorts-wearing Australian.
Stacey Hosking, 26, from Australia's Gold Coast, said: "We wear shorts everywhere in Australia. I don't see what the problem is here."