The random joke thread

[RHYDAL]

Yule be using that to replace the shite joke that come out of your Christmas cracker, I just know it. No need to thank me.

 

[Darth Vodka]

what's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops at three hos

 

[lazzer]

:icon_bigg

Ahh now i know your level I can tailor my jokes for you. :icon_wink

 

[Spanky Fox]

Facebook as offically lauched in Africa, they know its a pretty much crazy place full of certain types of people so they called it Junglebook

 

[Jeff]

Facebook as offically lauched in Africa, they know its a pretty much crazy place full of certain types of people so they called it Junglebook

 

[Spanky Fox]

random joke thread

 

[Jeff]

random joke thread

Is that one that was rejected by xmas cracker companies?

 

[lazzer]

I get slated for my nostalgic comedy and he does "junglebook" and gets nothing

 

[Blue Maniac]

I get slated for my nostalgic comedy and he does "junglebook" and gets nothing

At least we understood yours.

 

[SJN-Fox]

Money's short and times are hard...here's your ****ing Christmas card


Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
everyone felt shitty, even the mouse
Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass
I'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass
When out on the lawn, I heard such a clatter
I sprung from my piece to see what's the matter

Then out on the lawn, I saw a big dick
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell
I knew in a moment the old ****er fell
He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer

He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart
the son of a bitch blew the chimney apart
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight
piss on you all and have a good night

Have A Nice Christmas, bastards

 

[drummindefender]

Money's short and times are hard...here's your ****ing Christmas card


Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
everyone felt shitty, even the mouse
Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass
I'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass
When out on the lawn, I heard such a clatter
I sprung from my piece to see what's the matter

Then out on the lawn, I saw a big dick
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell
I knew in a moment the old ****er fell
He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer

He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart
the son of a bitch blew the chimney apart
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight
piss on you all and have a good night

Have A Nice Christmas, bastards

Did Melts write that?

 

[camberwell fox]

Did Melts write that?

No, there's no spelling mistakes

 

[SJN-Fox]

Did Melts write that?

Thanks. I'm honoured that you would associate me which such an expert ****. :icon_lol:

 

[Blue Maniac]

Thanks. I'm honoured that you would associate me which such an expert ****. :icon_lol:

Can we still vote him **** of the Year?

 

[MKFox]

Michael jackson will not be buried nor will he be cremated or recycled but ground into a fine curry powder so that children of all ages can still feel him dribbling out their arses........

 

[MKFox]

New fragrences out for christmas...

"decomposure" by Jade Goody
"Last Dance" by Patrick Swayze
"Touch Of Youth" by Michael Jackson
"Vacancy" by Boyzone

 

[OldGit]

Paddy was in New York .

He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians. " Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians! " for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"

 

[SwedeFox]

Paddy was in New York .

He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians. " Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians! " for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"

One of the best so far!

 

[Motown Fox]

Diner - Waiter, I'll have some lamb chops and make them lean.
Waiter - Would that be forward or backward, sir?

 

[tedfoxxx]

After the big split, Paul Mccartney was asked if he would ever go down on one knee again.

He said, "I would prefer for you to call her Heather".